Sunday, December 13, 2009

thoughts, words and feelings

There are thoughts,
there are words,
there are feelings....

sometimes they don't all come together cohesively.

Words lose some of the feelings and thoughts in their construction, and generally seem inadequate.
Feelings that are best expressed without words, but instead with eyes and hearts and touch.

At the moment I am
grateful ~

that life is a journey,
that sometimes - often, and almost always, if we strive, things do turn around, work out..
that perhaps instead of watching with bated breath I can maybe now start to breathe a little easier at the end of what has been the most difficult year of my life so far.

I could have, should have trusted after all... maybe...
yet trusting in the unknown future is so very hard to do.

I am aware that even when things get easier we are never given the respite to fully recover but have to do it 'on the run' when in fact we'd quite like space to sit and do it all properly...

Recovery doesn't happen overnight, although sleep does heal, but the body takes it's time to catch up and we must be patient :)

It really is true that the more you love, the more you care, and so the more you hurt when they do, and the more you feel for and with them ~ how cruel is that?
The price we pay for love.... that we wouldn't be without.

Thoughts, words, feelings... caught up within living... and constantly in colourful flux.

The tree is up, and once again we have hit the festive season. I am aware of the world around me, both on a small scale and far wider, further afield...
I find I get lost in thought, in a place where words often fail, and the heart yearns and hopes.
A tangle of thoughts words and feelings... and hope for so many's unknown future.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

head for the skies

It's been a long time since I sat and wrote here,
Movember has been and gone, friends have grown 'taches and shaved them off again in aid of prostate cancer awareness
Motivation and unity have struck me watching this growth across the island, a public display of support and commitment which has made me smile more than a few times and been the cause of at least one double take before I realised what was going on!
All around me people are achieving and making progress.

A few weeks ago our moonwalk group was born for this year ~ 'too hot to trot' made it off the starting blocks and all being well we'll be 'not trotting' around London in May for 26.2 miles overnight.

Motivational moments are contagious ~ reasons to celebrate ~ the small things aswell as the big.
Nourishing the seeds with praise and recognition and encouragement, and watching them grow.
Filing the less fruitful experiences in a separate place ready for archiving at some point...

Some people seem to get trips to the moon now and again, a hand reaches down, grabs theirs and away they go skywards...
We had one of those this week when S was chosen as a finalist for a local art competition, which opened today and is now awaiting the public vote over this month to see who wins. Winning really is secondary to the pride and excitement she felt, and the very real sense of achievement from her work (play) being acknowledged this way.

That rarely happens in such a wonderfully sparkly way. It seems that most of the time we spend motivating one another and ourselves to keep reaching upwards, bouncing on worn but trusty trampolines, yet upwards we go supported by those around us...
that was very much the feeling I came away with from the first group on a course I have just run.

I am humbled by many of the people I come across and their stories and incredible attitude to life.
There is no doubt life throws no end of challenges and difficulties our way, but somehow we always seem to keep bouncing , even when we are tired of it... persistence often pays off (am thinking health care systems and red tape at this point!)

and just maybe the trips to the moon we see around us keep us believing anything and everything really is possible...